At the end of each segment of time I spent with her, she'd say, "Bye JJ, I can't wait for the dance." That always left me quiet and she would tell me I looked cute when I was nervous. That, of course, just made me more nervous. We won the homecoming game, though not by much as our defense struggled and I didn't play as well as I should have. Kelly didn't care, she just kissed me after I left the locker room and told me she’d see me the next day. The day of the dance dawned clear and cool, and as I went for my morning run I heard a whistle come from Kelly's house. Kelly told me later that she hadn't wanted to get up yet, but when she saw me run past shirtless that was all the motivation she needed. When I got home I showered and, after my shower, saw there were two messages on my phone, one from Joey and one from my friend Alex, a wide-receiver. They both warned me that Tony had been talking smack about me and making sex jokes about Kelly and that I should watch out for him. I figured. ” So he tied her up and went golfing.A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!” The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?” “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get out.”A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: ‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’ “Can you read this?” the optician asked. “Read it?” the Polish guy replied, “I know the guy.”Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, “I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.” “Thank God,” said an elderly nun at the back. “I’m so tired of chardonnay.”A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL! Put in some.
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